2-4-08’s Issue Online
Posted on February 4th, 2008 by Union
Here’s 2-4-08’s issue for easy online viewing. Featuring: Campus Poll
02-04-08 page 01 cover
02-04-08 page 02 intro
02-04-08 page 03 opinions
02-04-08 page 04 opinions
02-04-08 page 05 news
02-04-08 page 06&07 sports
02-04-08 page 08 feature
02-04-08 page 09 music
02-04-08 page 10 music
02-04-08 page 11 ads
02-04-08 page 12 lit
02-04-08 page 13 arts
02-04-08 page 14 moviestv
02-04-08 page 15 comics
02-04-08 page 16 grunion
Filed under: Blog
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I can’t wait for the remodel.
Keep up the fucking brilliant work.
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Are you guys ever going to upload another issue? What’s going on? Here comes the noogie train!!!
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what happened to the new website?
Post a new issue, fuckers. You guys are lazy as fuck.
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March 19, 2008
Volume 62
Issue 08
Title: We Salute the ’90s
Re: X-tremely Rad
Author: R. Kobane
We are Generation “Y” not Generation “X”. Wikipedia it.
Don’t bother indicating mistakes - they don’t run corrections, anyway
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Hey, does your website need help with updating? All of us at the 49er feel bad for leaving ya’ll behind.
BTW, we had an idea: What if we dedicate the rest of the newspaper to writing about ourselves? We can start off every article with how great it is to write for the 49er. And we’ll put half of the issues online. And we’ll brag about how great we are.
Now hand over your lunch money.
I have to say, that I could not agree with you in 100%, but it’s just my opinion, which could be wrong.
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As much as I don’t like the straight up formaltiy of the Daily 49er - and how fucking lont it takes to load up a damn page on that site - I have agree that this site is absolute shit and needs to be overhauled, now. Just the fact that ~40 of these comments are automated spam shows that nobody gives a fuck about maintaining an online prescence.
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Perhaps if we were allowed to increase fees, we could afford to update the website and do something beyond spam and screenshots of our great paper.
Mike: Admit it. You are just jealous because all of the articles are about us and not students like you.
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Getting Your Pets High
By Catatonik and Buds McKinsey
There has been a lot of debate over getting one’s pet stoned. Some say it is cruel while others insist that their pets strangely show up during crowded smoke sessions and don’t seem to mind having smoke blown in their face. This guide is mostly intended for dogs and cats. Please do not attempt to get your bird high. Smoke is very harmful to birds.
I have learned a few things about getting pets stoned over time and figured this may be useful. My intention is not to force animals to take drugs, but to allow for a gentle and effective way of getting your pet high.
Before you start, you must understand that some pets, no matter what, do not want to get high. Even more important, some pets can’t stand smoke. There will be a point where your pet understands the experience of getting high and will advocate for themselves. From what I’ve witnessed, cats advocate for themselves much better than dogs. I’m not too sure why, but I figure the loyalty of most dogs makes it hard to distinguish their intentions.
Some important things to be aware of: There seems to be no evidence that blowing smoke in a pet’s ear will get them high. Yes, I know ear, nose, and mouth all share some connection. But would you want someone blowing smoke in your ear to get high? There are few reports of success and there is a chance that the hot smoke may be harmful. So don’t do it.
Marijuana also tends to make animals severely agitated in high doses. Many veterinarian sites report that stoners often come in with an agitated dog that got into their stash while they were away. There seems to be no serious long term harm. But if you’ve ever had an anxiety attack from smoking too much, you know that it really sucks. Also remember that dogs have a very sensitive sense of smell. Don’t leave your stash in an open container in an accessible bathroom cabinet to avoid this. And don’t experiment with your pet to see just how high they can get.
Another factor to watch for is the pet’s size and metabolism. Keep in mind that many pets do not have the same liver function as a human. Dogs tend to have “weak” livers compared to people, and cats are likely to be even more susceptible than dogs to liver damage. You want to avoid this at all costs. The liver does not heal and may lead to other forms of organ failure, including deadly kidney failure. Be warned that although marijuana is generally not considered hepatoxic, the effects on cats and dogs are not well understood. Don’t play around with any other drugs when it comes to your pets. That means no alcohol, no designer drugs, and nothing you have not researched. Don’t chance anything you are not sure of. Tylenol for example, can be deadly to both dogs and cats, because of the harmful effects on the liver. Humans on the other hand, tolerate Tylenol to some degree. There are more factors to consider regarding your pet’s liver and health:
The liver is highly involved with converting or metabolizing drugs to safer, active, and inactive forms. There seems to be little knowledge on how a cat’s liver metabolizes the active ingredients in marijuana. But to be on the safer side, let’s look at what happens to an impaired human liver: Drugs may be more potent due to the liver’s reduced ability to metabolize a drug. This means some drugs may unexpectedly reach toxic levels. It also means the drug may remain in an active form for a longer period of time. Since I am not too sure of how dog and cat kidneys differ from ours, I figure some drugs may take longer to excrete in a pet. Perhaps someone that better understands these functions can make a prediction based on marijuana’s active chemicals. Keep in mind that marijuana is generally regarded as safe. To sum all of this up: A 100 pound cat might require significantly less weed than a 100 pound human. Not only that, but the cat may be high for longer than a human. I don’t know if cats get the munchies and reach that weight, but you get the idea, right?
So far, I have found two methods to be quite effective for getting your pet high: cannabis butter and fresh smoke in a closed area such as a cabinet.
If you don’t know how to make cannabis butter, please look it up. I suggest using the weed+water+butter boiling method over the simple butter+weed sautée. I also suggest using butter form for a specific reason: It seems to be a great form to dissolve the active ingredients in weed. It also is a safe bet for the following reasons:
Dogs and cats will eat cannabis butter. This is uniquely important for dogs, since they seem to dislike smoke more than cats. Maybe their sensitive sense of smell has something to do with it.
There should not be other harmful chemicals to worry about in cannabis butter.
Do not use a plant that has been doused in some kind of questionable treatment. Do not use a plant that is moldy and don’t think you can cook off the harmful effects of the mold. Do not use a plant that has been recently sprayed with an insecticide or a chemical such as pyrethrins. Though pyrethrins have the potential to be safe in many applications, cats in particular are very sensitive to it (remember, different liver). Pyrethrins break down over a short period of time though. Dogs also tend to tolerate them better than cats.
Do not cook food first and then give it to the pet. Pets react in unexpected ways to different human treats. This is especially important if you plan on making brownies or chocolate chip cookies. Remember the liver factor? Dogs and especially cats cannot handle the theobromine present in chocolate. It is toxic to them. If you want to be safe, use a recipe from scratch for something like regular oatmeal cookies. You can nuke the batter afterwards (don’t let your pets consume raw eggs) and let them lick the mixing bowl. You can also let them lick the cookie plate clean afterwards. If your dog likes to get high and eat cookies (just like the rest of us), it might come in handy as a treat for good behavior.
Note that absorption or bioavailability is another issue with pets eating weed. I assume they can absorb it, since dogs often OD this way. But from observation, it seems to work better for cats. Also keep in mind the intestinal track on both animals is much shorter and direct (being mostly carnivores) which may affect absorption.
The other method involves using a cabinet, and preferably a dry or water filled bong with a carburetor/hole. This method seems to work better for cats. Before you start, I only suggest doing this to a cat you know very well because it will require a little bit of pushing and discretion. Place your cat in a moderately sized cabinet that it can walk around in. It may be easier if the cabinet is at your face level when standing up. Now pack a good bowl, light, and fill the chamber up with a good amount of smoke. Now stop and hold your breath even though there is smoke in the chamber. Point the top of the bong towards the inside of the cabinet. Place your mouth over the carburetor/hole to make a seal and exhale. Now your second hand smoke will push the chamber smoke into the cabinet towards your cat. Now close the cabinet. Repeat once if you want or let it have some more second hand smoke. Just keep in mind that second hand smoke has less active ingredients but may be nearly as harmful. If this is one of the first times, use your judgment to keep the cat in there until you think its had enough.
After a few times, your pet will understand the effects of marijuana and advocate for themselves. If your cat flails its arms about on the next trip to the cabinet, stop right there. Same goes for a pet that suddenly refuses to eat cannabis butter. Your cat doesn’t want to get high. From my observations, a typical cat will want to spend just a few minutes inside before pushing the cabinet door open. Sometimes if the smoke is mild or the cabinet is big, they will hang out inside for a longer period.
I hope this information is useful. Please be careful but if you love your pet and both enjoy getting high in a safe manner, don’t be ashamed.
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