STARTING OVER AGAIN WITH SOMEONE NEW

His description and thoughts of a new realtionship

Story by Tom Garcia  Contributor

Of course I was lonely. Despite my sexual experience and pseudo-romantic relationships, I’d ultimately never known anything more than superficial infatuation. It wasn’t until I made a commitment to myself and my value that I stopped with the hookups, and from this came the perceived necessity to stay single and avoid temptation altogether. 

Until I saw this girl with a cute smile. She approached the table I was studying at and asked if she could sit down with me. We began casually talking. It wasn’t an intended hookup,  or it wasn’t an attempted to find a relationship. It was just two people getting to know each other.

Amid coffee gatherings and increasing texts, I came to know better this girl while spending time with her in an innocent manner. After one particular round of entrancement, I followed through on what had until then been half-formed considerations and asked her out. I’d never done that before in person. Hell, I rarely did it at all. I couldn’t logically explain what motivated me to do anything different. If anything, I was kicking myself. What are you doing? I’m Tom fucking Garcia! Since when do I need anybody? I take what I want, and I don’t give two shits about it! But when she said “yes,” those thoughts pacified into the most serene, joyful anticipation I’d experienced in years, and I had faith despite my fear.

There’ve been a lot of firsts for us both amid all this business, but the ones that have populated my daydreams as of late have been the thoughts on how much better things have gotten because of a little respect. And I still have my fears, but knowing I’m not alone in having them is what makes me happy to spend time with her. If anything, I’m slowly taking less fear and more comfort in knowing I’ll have someone with me to address something greater than myself… I don’t feel lonely anymore.

Her account of what this could turn out to be

Story by Alaysia Lewis   Contributor

As after every breakup, I hope to either lie low to recover from the recent heartbreak or to go crazy. As usual, everything I planned crumbled like the dozen cookies I ate for comfort. I was at the library looking for a seat when I saw one guy with an empty seat across from him. We sat and casually spoke but everything we said was funny. If not humorous it was something we had in common. Turned out we even had the same professor, just at different classes. From there on out we text and got coffee to either just chill or talk shit about a shitty professor.

We were leaving a cafe, when he asked if I wanted to go on a date. Then “YES” blurteded out of my mouth and I cursed my subconscious for speaking for me. I came back home to deal with my conflicting thoughts on how I felt about going on a date with someone. The devil on my shoulder said go for it and break his heart the way I’d had mine broken. The angel was like, “No, that’s cruel.” Binge on Netflix and forget all about this. You’re not putting him in the friend zone, you are putting yourself there to take a break and there is nothing wrong with that.

As they argued back and fourth, I spent my time getting ready for the date. What on earth was I doing? Setting myself up for another failure? Setting myself up for a cheap fling? To be under-appreciated or overlooked? Yeah, no thanks. One date won’t lead to a full-blown relationship. It will be a one-time thing. After that, we carry on as friends.

Of course, that wasn’t the case. One date turned into too many to count. We both cautioned ourselves into getting in this relationship thing. He wants the title of a relationship and what I want isn’t the same. With the title comes the fall-out when it all ends. I do like him. He’s a nice guy, someone I can see myself dating for a while. I’m still not sure on how things will turn out, but I do know when he’s gone I’m lonely. When he’s around it’s like someone brought freshly baked cookies in the room. I’m hesitant but hopeful for what might come out of this. Surprise, surprise. I have someone worth giving my life to.

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